Out of the Box

Getting creative with Christianity, crafting, cooking, copious usage of alliteration, and the rest of my life

*insert famous Terminator line here* October 10, 2010

Crazy how life can get so busy. Speaking of which, I should be either sleeping or college-apping right now, but who cares about common sense? πŸ˜›

In my long absence, I have knitted a hat (very purple and only slightly misshapen), learned to cable stitch, made play-dough, failed epically at creative methods of gift delivery, and discovered that I can make bagels and pita with the same dough I’ve been using to make bread. Yum – to the last part, that is; yarn doesn’t taste that great, but hey, no need to take my word for it. With enough hot fudge topping, who knows what could happen? DELETE. πŸ˜›

Also, love, or at least the uncontrollable insanity we tend to call by that name, all too often means putting the other person’s happiness first. Sometimes this is enjoyable, sometimes not. But if you’re not willing to do it anyway, then… well, what kind of love is it if you’re more worried about yourself?

Also #2, life is confusing. I’m not sure how much of this is adolescence and how much of it is going to follow me into adulthood.

Is happiness just a front, just something to cover the underlying problems that don’t go away?…

No. Somehow the two manage to coexist; it makes neither aspect less real. And life is a beautiful and dysfunctional thing all at the same time. I have no idea how this works, but if it made sense it would be much less interesting.

I wouldn’t change any of it. I’ll come out of it stronger and wiser… I hope.


4 Responses to “*insert famous Terminator line here*”

  1. Hannah Says:

    Me too Gracie!! Because if not I’m officially not gonna make it ever πŸ™‚ lol

  2. LOL Says:

    I will let you know in a few days, but I’m pretty sure that life just gets more confusing as an adult.

    I’ve also found that love, for me at least, means that putting the other person’s happiness first ends up making you happier. Does that make sense? Not at all. But it is true.

    Okay, now that we’re done with the deep stuff, can I get filled in on why you’ve been so emo lately? ‘Tis a bit worrisome. 😦

  3. El'endia Starman Says:

    COP…dangit! πŸ˜›

    I’ve legally been an adult for 101 (!!!) days now…and I still deal with the same problems. [shakes head] They won’t go away when you turn 18…they’ll likely be diminished by the time you turn 21, but my guess is that you (and the rest of us) will be dealing with them to some extent for the rest of our lives.

    [deep breath] Having experienced three of the four “loves”, I’m going to try and define “Love”. Love is putting the other’s best interests before yours; caring more about them than about yourself. A lot of times, yes, that means you want them to be happy, even at the cost of your own happiness. However, at that point, you are not necessarily happy, but joyful. Love is being there for them in times of need…Love often manifests as doing anything you can to make the other person feel loved…Love can even mean letting them struggle on their own for a bit as trials make us stronger. For example…

    Jaori and Dral really like each other, alright? I am somewhat attracted to Dral, if only because of her personality. Certainly, if I allowed it to happen, in time, I would be very much attracted to Dral. However, that won’t happen. Why? Because I love Jaori; he is a good friend. I want him to be happy and I want him to experience all the wonders of being in a romantic relationship. Hence, I am staying away (so to speak) and I am prodding Jaori to continue advancing the existing relationship.

    Naakla and I both talk to each other pretty frequently about our respective girls, so to speak. We’re both very emotionally involved with our girls (so to speak); in this case, his is Cin. The state of things is such that Naakla is frequently not in a good mood. At those times, I attempt to pull him out of the black pit he’s dived into. Why? Because I love him; we’re brothers. I’m not necessarily trying to make him happier, but I DO provide support; I provide an ear and I make sure he’s not thinking too irrationally.

    Last year, I was very much in love with a girl named Shekem. When she was happy, I was glad. When she was sad or discouraged, I was saddened. In addition, as many guys know, I would do practically anything for her. Why? Because I loved her; I was seeking a romantic relationship. I wanted her to be happy and I wanted her to feel loved. As it is now, she’s in a relationship with another guy. Although it hurt terribly at first to be rejected in this way, as it is now, I’m glad. I know that her boyfriend will do all I was trying to do and furthermore…she’ll accept it.

    Indeed…indeed, my current internal struggle is the difficulty of reconciling loving a particular someone and wanting them to be happy while at the same time feeling like they’re walking towards a cliff. Incredibly confusing and distressing… >.< So, yes, happiness and the problems coexist…and yes, they are both real.

    One last thing…I agree fully with LOL's last question/statement. Your recent "emo-ness" is a bit disturbing… :-/

  4. Da Hammer (Naakla) Says:

    LOL: Agreed on the definition of love.

    El’endia: “We’re both very emotionally involved” COPY! =P

    OP: Well, I’d say that love is putting another person above you (as well as a plethora of other things. I’ll not delve into that; I’ll likely accidentally the whole blog as a result).
    I’d then daresay that “love” while putting yourself first is nothing more than a physical attraction; an interest, if you will.

    And, yes, life is crazy, always has been crazy, and always will be crazy. There’s nothing new under the sun…
    Will it go away? I don’t think so. I think that it will change, though. For example, the insanity that concerns the other sex now may not exist (at least not to the same extent) in 5-10-15 years. However, there will be bills, and maybe even kids…
    So, life is a huge Law of Conservation of Stress and Insanity. It will always be there, just in different forms. There’s certain types of stress that I deal with well (academics, sports) and stuff that I don’t deal with well (social stuff, and love). Life seems more stressful for me now than ever, mainly because the type of stress is different (and unpleasant) for me.

    Remember, it’ll get better, eventually. Sometimes you just have to wait it out, fight through it, and hope that it ends soon.
    And friends, they help, too. Try to find someone that you can talk to about said insanity, if you don’t have somebody already. It really does help.

    Good luck!

    -Da Hammer

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